The reason I’m making a list of ways to ask about school is because I want you to be able to hear your child’s answer.
When we ask our children questions about their day, we often do so with the best of intentions, but sometimes we don’t listen well enough to hear what they are saying
If you want to really hear what your child is saying, and in order for her to really open up and tell you how her day was.
You have to make it easy for her. You can do this by asking in different ways, and giving her options for answering.
The following are some ideas:
- What did you learn today?
- What was the best thing that happened today?
- Who did you play with today?
- Who were your favorite teachers today?
When your child tells you about her day, be sure to ask follow-up questions to encourage her to open up and tell you more.
You might say, “That sounds really cool. Tell me more about it.”
If you want to know how your child feels about school, you can ask questions like:
5. What was the best thing that happened today?
6. Who did you play with today?
7. Who were your favorite teachers today?
Or you can ask a question like:
8. What was the worst thing that happened today?
If your child says something like, “I don’t know,” or “Nothing happened,” then follow up with:
9. Really? Nothing at all? Not even one thing? What about recess? Wasn’t that fun today?
And then you can follow up with more questions like:
10. What did you do at recess?
11. Who did you play with?
12. Did you get to play on the monkey bars?
In order to help your child open up and tell you about her day, try asking her questions that begin with “What” or “How.”
This will encourage her to tell you about the details of her day. When she is finished telling you about her day, ask a question that begins with “And.” For example:
13. What did you do at recess? (What) And then what happened? (And) And then what happened? (And)
You can also ask your child a question that begins with “What if.” For example:
14. What if something really exciting happened at recess?
This will help your child imagine the details of her day and give you more information about what actually happened. You can also ask questions that begin with “Why.” For example:
15. Why did you do that?
16. Why did you choose to play with Alex instead of Katie?
17. Why did you pick blue crayons for your drawing?
18. You can also ask your child a question that begins with “How.” For example:
19. How did you feel when you found out you got to play on the monkey bars? How did you feel when I said I was going to be late for dinner?
20.When you ask your child a question that begins with “How,” you will get a detailed answer.
21. Your child will also feel safe and comfortable telling you how she feels because she knows that it is okay to share her feelings with you.
22. And you can follow up with more questions that begin with “How.” For example:
23. How did you feel when Alex wanted to play the game your way? How did you feel when I got home and was able to have dinner with you?
Your child will be able to tell you how she feels because she knows that it is okay to share her feelings with you.
24. And when your child tells you how she feels, don’t interrupt her or try to give her advice about how she should have felt.
Let her finish telling you what happened and then respond in a respectful way.
You might say something like:
25. That sounds really hard for you today, honey. I’m sorry that happened to you. Let’s talk about it after dinner and see if we can come up with a solution together. Okay?
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